What You Are and What You Want To Be

Something I wrote a week ago about getting out and doing what you love:

I am sick and tired. I have lived my past twenty-two years of my life in quiet desperation. I have no excuses for what I’ve become. The person I am and the person that I want to be are two different things. It is difficult for me to do what I want to do. I am tired of this. None of my friends are helpful, they are either incompetent or lazy. They sit by and desire the same thing I want but show no initiative. That does not make them to blame, for I am just as guilty, but this will end now. I want to be on the top. Yet, every time I try, maybe once or twice every couple of months, I fail miserably. I’ll say, “Hey that was tough work.” But I never follow up on it. I never say, “Ok, I did this. Now let’s see how I can improve this.” Instead I stall, I claim I’m too busy. No more. This is a declaration of war. This is a declaration of everything I despise and hate: fear, nervousness, and a lack of momentum. Everyone else can say should have, could have, would have. I will just go out and do it. I will fail, and fail, and then I will succeed. I will prove myself, I will be the person I want to be, instead of the person I am.